Leave your problems at the door? The Human problem of Human Resources

It has been the mantra of workplace life for decades, likely centuries.  "Leave your problems at the door." It is the expectation that when you come into work you should leave your family, your personal life, and your personal feelings and problems "at the door."  Leave them behind so you can focus on the business at hand.  Seems reasonable, yes?

It's the unofficial and in many cases the official policy of many workplaces.  I find this edict to be quite an interesting one.  In my experience, workplaces that strictly enforce this philosophy, seem to be the same businesses that have a subtle and not so subtle way of infiltrating one's personal life on a regular basis; the occasional  dinner text message on your personal phone, the 6 a.m. phone call, the barrage of weekend emails, late night reports, and in some cases overnight shifts to meet tight deadlines.  These companies often have unspoken expectations that employees are to use their personal equipment, supplies, and materials to accomplish the business task at hand.  It's these companies that believe it is perfectly okay to impose on their employees personal time, resources, and personal life. But if a personal phone call is received or an email is answered, the employee is being unethical with the companies resources.

What should a good employee do?  Clock in, clock out and function like a robot until the end of the shift?  Should they offer the mantra to their boss the next time they are needed to work late- "Sorry, I have to leave my work problems at the door. My shift is over." Who would want an employee like that? What value does that bring?  Is it possible that a more enlightened view of the "work-life" balance debate is that the Human Resource department is managing exactly that-- HUMAN resources.  Humans have passion, fears, hopes, dreams, problems, victories, skills, talents, families, love, hate, despair, tragedy and success. Humans are whole.

I believe that if we learn to value humanity in its whole form in the workplace, businesses will thrive!  I have also worked in businesses that have valued my human experience.  They offered empathy in times of personal struggle, they supported in times of crises by offering assistance and support, be it in time away from the desk for a phone call, or in accommodating a flexible work schedule while traveling to John Hopkins while caring for an ill family member.  In turn, I had an unexplainable loyalty to that company.  Working countless nights, weekends, and holidays-uncompensated.  Never building resentment.  I also used the lessons that shaped me in my personal life, to shape the way I worked.

Because the reality is, that what makes a good employee is not what they do in their business day.  It is who they are as a human. It is who they are as a mother, father, and as a community member-as a PERSON.  It is who they are in their personal life, that make them a good employee at work.  It is time we have an enlightened view of the HUMAN resources in our workplace.

Mother's Day is Overrated

Mother's Day.  Can I say it?  I hated it.  Said.

Maybe I have't always felt this way, but I certainly felt it this year.  It felt so forced and awkward.  I feel like everyone is trying too hard to obligate themselves to being extra nice.   It isn't natural.  Maybe because mothering itself has never come natural to me.  I mean I certainly don't fit the typical mother stereotype.  I am not the cook, not the primary house cleaner, I hate shopping for groceries and clothes, and the only reason I pack my kids lunch is because I have to help Josh gain 17 pounds in the next three months-(It's the Crohn's).  So a typical mother gets the day off from cooking...ummm that is everyday for me.  So to feel less guilty about the holiday, I spent the day cooking.

I did get beautiful flowers and a great card from the girls.  My son even filled up his pill case for the week.  I have to admit that I enjoyed those things.  I guess I don't want my kids to buy into the lie that they can be a blessing to someone else when the Hallmark rack demands it.

So this week, think about ways you can bless someone else randomly.  When it's not their birthday, not father's day, not anything particularly special day....I bet you will find the moment to be all the more meaningful.  Besides, I can't think of a better way to spend your time, than reflecting on the people who surround you and what a blessing they are to be in your life every day.

TGIF-The 5 Year Plan

I didn't have time to blog this morning, so this one will be short and sweet and boring.  Today was a busy day at work, but most importantly, I am finally registered for school.  I am now officially a part of academia again.  I hope this round goes smoother as far as the paperwork.  It seems it will.  It only took me about 10 minutes to apply, register and get started at National University.  Back in the old days at WNMU, this process took weeks!  I guess technology has really kicked it up a notch.  Bottom line is that in 15 months I plan on having my Bachelors of Science in Organizational Leadership.  Every single credit was accepted into my new school and I will be intensely involved in 4 week classes.  Scary!  One class at a time, but only four weeks long...  In TENSE sounds like the perfect adjective.

I plan on being a little closer to being in my Strengths Zone in 5 years or less...Rock and Roll!!

Happy Friday

Finding Your Strengths-"Pinch Me, Am I Dreaming?"

I've recently wiped the dust off of my book, "Strengths Finder" and revisited the topic of strengths.  Gallup's "Father of Strengths Psychology" Donald Clifton conducted over 40 years of research into millions of peoples lives to understand what made them successful.  Contrary to our typical way of developing people-- sending them to classes to improve their weaknesses, the Strengths philosophy concludes that it is much more effective to focus on developing ones strengths rather than ones weakness.  I certainly believe this research has merit.  Looking back at my life I can make a list (quite large) of my weaknesses.  And no matter how many times I try to develop those weaknesses, it seems my natural tendency is to return to the way I've always done things... I am not saying that people cannot change, but I am saying that if I were to spend more time developing my strengths I would have a greater capacity to maximize them.  I like the quote in the Strengths Finder 2.0 book, that may be a little hard to swallow for most; "You cannot be anything you want to be--but you can be a lot more of who you already are." I think the romantic part of us would like to believe that we can be whatever we want.  That is what we teach our children isn't it? I think our time is better spent finding out what makes them tick, what drives them, what they are really naturally talented at, and encourage and develop those strengths within them.  And do the same for ourselves.  My top 5 strengths are: Activator, Significance, Woo (Winning Others Over), Communication, and Strategic.  I must say, when I am in an environment where I get to use these strengths, I excel.  I feel alive. I LOVE it!  And when I am not, it is quite painful.  Which takes me back to my theory of pain.  I am motivated to change when I am in pain...when I am uncomfortable.  Pain has become a friend of mine.  Learn to listen to it.  Don't ignore it.  Don't surrender to it.  But let it direct you to a place where you can excel and live fully!  Pain does have a way of reminding us we are alive does it not?  "Pinch me, am I Dreaming?"

The Signs Are Everywhere- The Pain Theory

As I drove to work yesterday morning, I realized that our world is inundated with queues that guide, direct, and warn us.  North, South, Merge, Icy, School Zone, Red, Green, Yellow Line, White Solid Line, Caution, Stop.  Even here you will find them.  A comma tells you to pause. A period tells you to stop.  Since infancy we are trained to react to these visual queues and signs.  Not doing so, is usually to our detriment.  Fortunately, the world we live in has been carefully crafted and designed to prevent as much tragedy and to avoid as much pain as possible.  And it seems for the most part it works.  We usually heed the warnings, and if the signs themselves don't influence us, certainly the powers that be will.  I hear tickets for running a red light here in San Diego run around $450.00.  

So I began to wonder.  What kind of warning signs does our body use to tell us something is out of whack?  Pain.  It seems that unless we are feeling tired, achey, sore, nauseous, hungry, grumpy, or feverish, we are not queued into what our body is telling us.  Maybe in fact we were designed differently, and maybe the warning signs actually come before the pain.  But we just aren't trained to see them, hear them, feel them.    We are influenced more by the outside signs-- "No One Can Eat Just One", "I'm Lovin It", "Have it your way", "Do What Tastes Right", that we don't know how to read the signs inside... Or maybe the only sign we listen to when it comes to changing ourselves, is pain..therefore it was all in the master design.  More on pain in the future....

KrysIsAwakeWhileSleeping

Do you have the kind of dreams that haunt you? The images, the sounds, the stories that linger in the theater of your mind? I do. For as long as I can remember my dreams have haunted me. Each night I live an epic blockbuster or three. And whether it is a comedy, drama, tragedy or romance, I am playing the lead role. By the time I wake up, I am exhausted and I feel like it is time to go to sleep and get some rest...hence the name, "Krys Is Awake While Sleeping". The problem with wanting to go back to sleep, is that I know that I cannot find rest there. I must admit, it can be a bit distressing. But this leads me to another question. Do you have the kind of dreams that haunt you? Okay...that is the same question, but bear with me. What I am trying to ask is not about the unconscious dreams of your sleep, but the dreams of your consciousness. Do you have any that haunt you? Are you living the life you dreamed of? Have you forgotten your dreams? When was the last time you dreamed? Has life gotten in the way of you playing the lead character in an epic story? Don't settle for just playing an extra in someone else's story...because that would be a true tragedy and a nightmare.